Monday, December 31, 2012

Exceeding Expectations

This past year has been a challenge to myself that I didn't falter from. I exceeded so many expectations that others put towards me and that I put towards myself. This past year I stopped accepting what people told me and I started proving people wrong! I hope that 2013 will be another challenge-accepted year for me and that I come out stronger by the end!

People always told me that I was too scared to stand up for myself, that I would put up with people that mistreated me all through high school because I was too afraid to lose friends. Well that changed. I said goodbye to some people I once held dear in my heart simply because I realized that they were never truly friends anyways. I discovered that I would rather be alone than be with people who didn't care.

I did what every child dreams of, and got in with the "popular" crowed at University and just as quickly, I realized how fake they were and could proudly say that I walked away from them all too.

I started acting like an adult, letting my mom know when I would be out instead of asking her if it was ok.

I found the areas in my life that I wasn't happy with and I took steps towards getting help to making changes in my life.

I had a 20 seconds of courage moment in the summer and walked up and talked to complete strangers because I thought they were cute, and I survived total embarrassment in front of them too.

I didn't let that embarrassment bring me down and I surprised myself by doing it again, more than once.

People that my old friends told me I'd never have a chance with, told me they liked me and I've made friends out of.

Guys that my friends told me I would never have the courage to talk to, I've hung out with.

Courses that I was sure I was going to fail going into them, I've passed.

I've stopped letting people walk all over me, I've been working 3 jobs and full time school, and still find the time to volunteer at church.



I spoke to the man who inspired me to become a musician and composer, Howard Shore.


I've stopped relying on people to do things with me, if I want to do them, I've gone alone. Only I am responsible for my own happiness!

I've done so much more in my life this year than anyone ever thought that I would. I survived my first car accident, paid for my own recovery, and made decisions about my life without consulting anyone. It's sad to say that at 21 I finally feel like I grew up a little this year.

So here's to 2013 and all that it holds in store for me. I will exceed my own expectations once again, and I will blow people away with how much I will achieve!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

-Tay

Sleepless Nights

I don't know what it is lately but I've been having such a hard time getting to sleep at night!

I seriously stay up all hours of the night with a million things running through my mind, books I want to read, melodies that need transcribing, scenes or stories that need to be written down, e-mails that need to be sent... The list goes on!

It's not that I'm losing any sleep though, I seem to manage 9 hours a night by simply getting up at noon!

Starting tomorrow I get to re-train myself for school! Yikes. Basically no matter what time I go to bed I need to get up by a certain time so that I will eventually get tired enough that I can start going to bed earlier again.

1 week left of holidays and then the best semester of my life begins! All composition all the time! This will be the make or break to find out of this really is what I want to do for the rest of my life! I'm so excited! It's going to be hard but it's going to be worth it!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

3 Year Block

Here is a story: while I was studying for exams, my grandma called me up on the phone saying she wanted to read me a story. Not that unusual really, that's quite common with her. I really didn't care to hear it as I was seriously trying to study but I figured I would humor her and so I told her to go on. As she began reading, tears filled up in my eyes, she was reading a story I had written years ago! I didn't stop her, and I let her go to the end. It was amazing how the rawness of the story still got to me even now, especially because I wrote it myself!

My grandma told me I should publish a lot of the stories that I had written into a collection of short stories. I laughed at the idea because of course grandparents will be biased and encourage their grand kids that way.

Well I've spent the day today pouring over all the silly things I ha written over the years and I feel like there is some good stuff in there. The few pieces I put up on publishing sites came back with glowing reviews and years ago I even was published in an online magazine.

My problem is that I haven't written for the sake of me in almost 3 years. Sure, in high school I had all the time in the world and there was nothing that made me happier than to write, but once University hit, writing became more of a chore. It was homework. I got sick of writing papers and essays that I forgot what it was like to write a story that you were passionate about!

Well my 3 year writers block is finally over! Today I finally picked up a pencil and put it to paper and started to write again. It was only a page long and it just described one scene of something that I may never finish. But the good part is that I'm writing again. I can't ever stop writing.

I must write, in words, in music, in life. I must create and portray messages across any way that I can. Anything that is within me begging to be set free needs to leap out of me and into a page, to be shared with readers and listeners alike.

I can't stop. Ever.

Monday, December 17, 2012

True Love

I came across this image a while back on Pintrest and I feel like I have to share. I really want to get this message out because most people are falling into the traps shown in the images and aren't realizing the real truth!






Let Jesus be the one to fill you with his Love. When we empty ourselves of the love we have to give, God will pour his love back into us to keep us full, therefore we should never stop loving others and God will never stop loving us. It's such a beautiful, continuous circle! God gives us His love, to give to others. He has so much love for us that we couldn't possibly keep it all to ourselves, we have no choice but to burst at the seams with His love and let it cover everyone around us! Such a wonderful gift!

Take Two - The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Hey guys, so in my last post I said that I would see about going to see a different version of The Hobbit in theaters to try and compare it and get a second opinion on the film.

Like many of my friends know, I've been a Middle-Earth buff since I was in the 6th grade and taught myself elvish. So for me, I really didn't want to walk out of the theater not liking these films.

Well, I now saw the 2D version at the higher frame rate and I'm here to say, my original problems with the visuals had nothing to do with the higher frame rate! It was because of the 3D! You have no idea how happy I was to be able to say that! I was honestly scared that the film had been made really crappy and blurry, and I was concerned to be honest. The fact that it was all alright outside of 3D just tells me that perhaps it's the 3D element that is a little off.

With that being said, most of us take these movies home and we don't watch them in 3D (although I'm sure there are exceptions) so for the most part, this little mishap to me is overlook-able and therefore I have re-judged what I thought of the film.

While many things are out of order from the books, or were embellished using other Tolkien material, it is creating a good story, although perhaps confusing to people who were expecting it to be just like the book (shame on you - they didn't do that for Lord of the Rings, why would they do it for The Hobbit!!)

Needless to say, if you find some things in the movie that you have no memory of in the Hobbit, believe me when I say it's not all made up. There has been references to other Tolkien references including The Simirillion, and the Appendixes of The Lord of the Rings, which most people tend to not read (there's a lot in there - read them!!)

Honestly, much like I had to do for Lord of the Rings when it came out, you have to take it apart from the story because there are some creative liberties, but all in all it's a good film.

I wouldn't mind seeing it a third or fourth time, and I know for certain I will be buying the film when it comes out!

I think a lot of people were expecting this film to be just like The Lord of the Rings, but the books weren't made to be the same and nor are the movies. For some people I think it might take some time to get used to the films, but I promise by the time the third part comes out, everyone will have fallen in love with the first and second parts!

I promise to do a bigger review later but because it's still new in theaters I'm trying to be nice to my friends and not to give them any spoilers! You're welcome goofs!

Friday, December 14, 2012

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

That's right, I've just come home from watching the midnight screening of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. It was at the higher frame rate and in 3D.

This review will not have any spoilers so long as you've seen the original trailer for the film.

Alright, so down to business. So for the last number of months some friends of mine have come to me with questions, mostly about the way the Hobbit will be set up. Knowing my passion for all things middle earth, I did my best to explain what I could such as what the higher frame rate would mean in the context of the movie and such.

However a number of questions and opinions that were asked of me, I replied that I simply did not know. I didn't want to go into watching these films with a yay or nay attitude and I certainly did not want to pre-judge it before seeing it. However, now that I have seen it, it's fair to say I'm ready to make a few calls.

The first thing I would like to point out, is that this movie is not The Lord of the Rings. Yes, it's the same author, they're part of the same franchise, and the films have many reprising roles, but try are not, nor have they ever been the same.

Tolkien himself wrote the two stories to be completely different, to target a different generation with the plots, and even changed the style of writing altogether from one book to the next. So keeping that in mind, the movies are also not the same.

One of the biggest things people have approached me with lately have been the amount of CGI that was used in The Hobbit. The fact that the orcs were CGI, and just the fact that a lot of it was computer generated seemed to have some friends concerned. I do not want to spoil anything, but I would like to point out that it is not all CGI. Even the orcs, there were some real actors involved. But yes, there was quite the increased use of CGI, and it did show, but I don't think it takes away from the story. It's merely just there.

Friends have also asked me if I think the higher frame rate would hurt or help the film. Again, because this is the first film in history to use this frame rate I had nothing to compare it to and therefore chose to reserve judgement. I will be honest, the first five minutes it did throw me off a little bit simply because that's something that no one is really used to. The picture is much clearer, and cleaner. I know it's hard to believe but it's not a joke. I find there were moments in the film that I found the frame rate a little distracting and again, I'm not sure if it's because of the quality of the movie or simply the fact that it's such a new concept that it was drawing my focus.

People also questioned how they would switch from the actor used in LotR as Bilbo, to the one used in the Hobbit. Once again, I'm not here to give anything away. They did not simply switch the actors, they tied it all in rather nicely and I was impressed with how it was done.

Now to move onto the geekier side of the films and to the real good bits, let's talk about the music!

When the original trailer came out last year, I jumped on the song "Misty Mountains" that the dwarves sang in the trailer. I became enthralled by it. As a school project I actually did an arrangement of the piece. Lets just say I became glued to this piece, I let it sink into me and take root and I loved every bit of it. Turns out my musical hero, Howard Shore, thought the same thing!

Ladies and gentlemen, just like the theme of the fellowship in LotR, "Misty Mountains" I'd the theme of the dwarf company in the Hobbit! I'm thrilled! Hearing that piece intertwine throughout the film on a wide range of brass instruments adds to the magestic nature of the plot! It was glorious and it made me all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Such a great choice!

There is of course the return of some very beloved themes from LotR and any themes that were assigned to a race or location have made a return in those similar context. There is also the addition of some beautiful and quirky new themes to accompany the new places, people, and races that are bein introduced to us on screen for the first time.

I do plan on seeing this film again in theaters, and hopefully soon while it is fresh in my mind. I would like to see it in a lower frame rate and without the 3D just to contrast and compare quality and see if it adds or takes anything away. When I do this, I hope to write a follow up review that compares the technical side in just a little more detail.

If you have any questions that you want me to try and answer just let me know!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

When It Rains, It Pours!

It's such a true statement, "when it rains, it pours." I'm not quite sure what the original context was supposed to be when people started saying it, but for me, today, it's certainly not a good thing.

Today it felt like it one bad thing happened, a million bad things happened!

I suffer from chronic migraines, and I'm on a preventative medication that takes down their frequency and severity, so no more 3-5 migraines a week!

Well today was the first time one had hit in a week and a half (my longest migraine free streak in months!) and it hit me while I was in town. It started as a headache during mass tonight and so after mass I took some Tylenol. I then went to my faith study, and it became a migraine. It was brutal!

I should probably mention that I do not have a car with a working heater (which means no heat, no defrost, nothing). So before I could leave I had to scrape ice off the outside, AND inside of my car windows. My windshield then wanted to keep fogging up and the only way o stop it is to roll down the window and put the fans on full blast (remember its only blowing cold air) I then had to keep a scraper on the passenger seat to keep taking the ice buildup off the inside of the windshield just to get home.

Also, another fun fact. I have this uncommon condition where I break into welts where the cold hits me. It's actually an allergy to cold temperatures much like people who are allergic to the sun. So, in order to keep warm, I had a blanket over me and rapped around my legs to keep me warm. My feet however, still froze.

So when I get home, I'm frozen to pieces and want to hop under my electric blanket, but I have a migraine and want an ice pack on my head, except I'm too cold.

Rough night. My day was good but this night just kinda ruined it all. I will get some sleep tonight, and tomorrow when I'm hopefully migraine free, (and trapped at home because I refuse to take my car anywhere now) I will blog about the good things!

Goodnight!

-Tay

Friday, December 7, 2012

The Problems of Social Interaction Within The Catholic Church

I know it might surprise some of you that I have something bad to say about the Catholic Church, but I do. It's not even the teachings of the church that bother me! I love my God and I agree with the church. I am on fire for Jesus and nothing can stop me. My problem is with the people in it.

It seems like the different organizations within the church have made cliques with each other over the years. The problem is that I'm in my 20s and so these cliques were already created and there is apparently no room for me.

The only time someone even comes up to me and says "hey, how are you?" it's immediately followed with "do you think you could do (blank)?" Seriously?! Do people only care about what others can do for their benefit and not for the actual person anymore?!

It seems like every time I've reached out to people they're either too busy or they say "yeah, we need to hang out. I'll let you know about that this week" and two months later you're the one contacting them!

I'm in the way. People often wonder why I want to move away. It's honestly because I don't have a place here. I'm tired of having secular friends who poke fun at me and make my life difficult. I'm sick of having to stay strong.

I'm finally starting to find peace in my personal life with God and all I want is to have friends that I can share that with. Friends who understand the best part of my life. Yet somehow whenever I try to get involved with someone it seems I'm always turned down and shunned away. I'm getting sick of being hurt.

I'm not girly enough to be kept in the loop with the ladies. They don't seem to want to accept me and I feel that they're emotionally trying to push me away.

The guys I feel like I have to tiptoe around because I don't want them to mistake kindness and my desperation for friendship, to come across as anything more. They can probably tell because they stay away from me.

My family wonders why I don't hang out with people from NET but they've become such a tight knot group that they don't seem to let others into their circle. I get it, they share a powerful experience. Yet, I'm still an outcast.

People from church wonder why I haven't hooked up with CCO, but to be honest I've been trying for 3 years. It's almost impossible. Unless you know the people on CCO, you'll never find them on campus because they're just sitting amongst the general student body and there is no way to tell them apart.

I've never done retreats because I was always the kid who was left on the sidelines by myself and no one would bother with. If I forced myself to join in with a group, I felt like a nuisance, or a burden. I never felt welcome.

I'm so busy trying to take care of me, that I don't even have time to really think about a guy in my life. All I want right now is Christian fellowship. I want real friends. I want friends who understand.

Apparently that is too much to ask.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

My Inner Child

Since I've been in high school I've always had this thing with not showing my emotions. Appearing emotional both good and bad lets your enemies know if they are getting to you or not. Easy solution not to get picked on, don't show emotion. What I didn't realize was how that attitude was actually sabotaging my happiness.

I've always tried to be the tough cookie, putting up with everything and shrugging off the bad and not getting my hopes up with the good. I was floating through life just fine. Until I realized that I was kidding myself.

If I want people to have relationships with me, as friends, family, or potential boyfriends, I need them to see who I am as a person. That of course means opening up to them. An entirely brand-new concept in the past few years!

I always thought that pushing back my emotions started with the bullying in high school, but when I went to my therapy sessions over the last few months, I've discovered that it started long before that!

It took weeks of figuring out but my first instance of holding back my emotions goes back to when I was 4 years old and in Jr. Kindergarden.

How sad is that! Kids that young cry about everything and anything, and no one ever thinks anything of it! It's something that they do. I look at my 5 year old cousin and I think, it would be perfectly okay for him to cry, and he's a boy! So why did I not think it was okay of I cried when I was that age?

When I think back to how that little girl, couldn't even let out her emotions at 4 years old it kills me inside. It rips my heart to pieces and I want to cry! I want to mourn for that little girl who didn't feel safe enough to cry when she should have!

That's what I'm trying to undo. I'm trying to let people in; let people see the real me; allow people to see my emotions! A very wise guy once told me "all emotions are valid simply because you feel them." i always try to remember those words as I move forward on this journey of mine.

Who knows what I will discover about myself next!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

First Sick of the Season

I'm a massively sick person. I somehow came down with this cold/flu thing. My first of the season.

Lucky for me it's only the first week of school so it's not too bad that I missed one class and that gives me 4 days off in a row!

I'm trying my hardest to get well soon. I've spent most of today with buckley's cough, cold, and flu extra strength medication in me so I've basically slept this entire day away.

Time for some more sleep and then more medication an vitamins in the morning. Apparently I didn't start my season doses of vitamins early enough this year!

Hope everyone else is having better luck fighting off the bugs!

Friday, August 24, 2012

French Flowers

I just treated myself to some amazing new nail polishes, and with them I got very fine paintbrushes so I can do my own detailing designs!

Check it out! Did French manicure with little flowers on each nail.

Love it!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Paving Forward

If you don't really know me, this might be a shock to you, but to those who know me, I'm a tough cookie. No I don't mean I'm a badass, I'm just tough. I try not to let things get to me, and even when they do I try not to let them show. Well I got tired of being told that I'm coming across as cold hearted because I don't show emotions, so I started going for therapy. Honestly, it's the best decision I've ever made.

Last night's session had mom coming in with me and our therapist got us to roleplay a little bit. The point of roleplaying was to try and get the "victim" to be assertive to the person who was being aggressive or passive-aggressive. First time around, I got to be the victim. My mom chose a real scenario that really had happened to me.

Scenario: Aggressive person = former best friend of mine who is now dating my ex-boyfriend. She was pissed that I was still talking to her boyfriend (my ex) and wasn't talking to her and started spreading rumors that I still cared for my ex and I was jealous.

I proceeded to explain that me not wanting to be friends with her anymore had nothing to do with her dating my ex, because we had settled that one and I had been friends with her since they started dating but had more to do with the fact that she would drunk text me rude things, she started taking clothes off at parties, and started acting a little sleazy and that I didn't want people like that in my life. 

Well, the therapist took the role my mom had created and started pushing it a little further, and started arguing with me. Then something I never thought would happen, happened. I broke down crying. Right there in front of my therapist, and my mother.

The reason I push people away is because I know friends come and go, and everyone that comes into my life is eventually going to leave. It's a part of life. So why should it bother me when it finally happens. My therapist said it must be a lonely way to live and I just broke down crying. I've never considered myself lonely, I always have family around me and I'm rarely alone. Yet, I do feel that there's not anyone close enough to me that I can trust with anything, no friend that I see being there for the rest of my life and that makes me hold back from being really close to my friends.

I am lonely. I mean heck, I'm happy as hell. I'm loving my life and this summer has been the best yet. This is not a super depressed, I spend everyday crying because I'm so alone, but when I think about it, I wish that there was someone I believed would always be there for me and wouldn't abandon me when things get hard.

It was just such an eye opening experience. I've never really experienced that emotion before, or at least I've never been able to identify it. As hard as it was to go there, I'm happy that I did. I'm still not regretting this decision and I plan to see it through to the end. I finally feel like I get the chance to grow as a person now. Just gotta keep climbing this mountain and not look back!

The path behind you might be bumpy, but you never have to walk it again, just keep paving the road ahead of you.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Glengarry Highland Games - Saturday

This is part two of a two part blog about the Glengarry highland games. Saturday involved watching more of the games, sheepdog demonstrations, and pipe and drum competitions and of course more entertainment in the beer tent!

The morning was a little harder to get up for because of the late night drinking in the beer tent however, bless the creators of this marvelous drink, Alex and I had some Irn Bru. It was created to be a hangover remedy apparently. Seemed to work pretty well too!

The day started off setting up on the mound around the infield and watching some of the games.


   
              Caber Toss                          Regimental Tug-of-War                Sheepdog Demonstration

Pipe and drum competitions are always a lot of fun to watch. Since we've started going there we've been following the City of Chicago pipe and drum band. Last year they moved from Level 2 to Level 1. With the international competitions happening next weekend in Scotland, there were less bands performing at the Level 1. This year we had City of Chicago, Toronto Police, and PEEL. Watching these competitions reminds me of when I went to the nationals in my grade 12 year.

At 4 o'clock, Scocha came back as the entertainment in the beer tent and that's when the party really began! Being a part of one of their concerts makes you really feel that the members are down to earth. Mom and I couldn't stop singing along to the songs and it was fun that some of the band members noticed and were laughing and really getting into it. They took the time to look people in the eyes as they were singing and I'm sure it meant a lot to people. It made the concert feel more personal. That's being a true musician! Not just playing for the fans, but interacting with them and pulling them in.

   
Then the night ended in traditional Maxville fashion, the massed bands from the weekend. This is what causes me to hear bagpipes in the wind the entire hour and a half long car ride home. All those bagpipes and drums playing together in unison creates such a powerful sound that shakes in your ribcage. It's so powerful! It is honestly beyond all possible words!


Honestly, I think that everyone should look up and see if there are Scottish Highland Games near you. They're quite powerful, friendly, and such an educational and relaxing experience. There are games that take place all over and I hope you can find some close to you!

Glengarry Highland Games - Tattoo

This past weekend was one of the greatest weekends of the year because it was the Glengarry Highland Games. It's a two day event that celebrates Scottish traditions. So many wonderful things happened that I couldn't possibly put it all in one post so there's going to be a couple.

Friday consisted of solo piping competitions, highland games as well as a tattoo.

There's nothing quite like sleeping in a tent and waking up not to an alarm, but to the first bagpipe player of the morning starting to practice and warm up. I love listening to bagpipes! Some people find them loud and annoying but honestly there's something so powerful and soulful about them.



The big part of day one is the Friday night Tattoo. Basically it's a massively huge party beyond all belief. It started with the singing of three national anthems as sky divers come down with the flags.
"Flower of Scotland"
"Oh, Canada"
"Star Spangled Banner"
But for me, the really awesome part of the night was to welcome back the band Scocha who headlined the entertainment for the weekend once again. The first time I ever went to the games was when they were performing and last year wasn't the same without them. They finally came back to play for us again for the weekend before heading back to Europe. Bless their hearts!





I hope that they come back year after year as we all love having them there. They truly know how to throw a party! Hope that they have another wonderful year of shows ahead of them wherever they play!

The night finished off with a few drinks in the beer tent with some great friends (and one pain in the butt). First time in my life I get the guts to talk to strangers and my ex decides to walk up to me chatting and embarrass the hell out of me in front of not one, but two nice gentlemen. We've made an agreement that there's no more walking up and talking with me when I'm talking to strangers anymore. Yikes!

All in all it was an incredible first day and was the best games I've been to as well! Such an amazing time!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Falling Apart

I'm falling apart. I'm thinking back to every bad thing that's ever happened to me. I'm reliving every bad/sad/angry/frustrating/disappointing/hurtful thing that's ever been in my life. I'm losing the friends that I had, I'm fighting with my family, and I'm purposely digging into the deep dark places in my life.

But for the first time ever, I'm embracing it!

Going to counseling was one of the best decisions of my life!

I'm finally looking at why I am the way that I am, what events shaped me into the person I am today, and I'm learning what steps I need to take now to get where I want to be. I'm losing friends because they're not willing to accept that the old me is gone, and they don't want to be around the new me. Their loss. I will get new friends who have greater respect for me, will share more of my aspirations and drive towards accomplishments. I'm fighting with my family because for the first time I'm not keeping my mouth shut, I'm speaking up for myself and learning to be assertive rather than passive.

The people who haven't bothered to stay in touch with me over the summer are in for one big shock when we all get back to school. There are big changes happening, and I think some people are going to be shocked by the new me.

My life is falling apart because I need those raw materials to build up the new me.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Sabotaging Myself

Have you ever had a personality trait that your friends think is 'so you' so you just keep doing it for the reaction you get from your friends? Well I know that I've done that for as long as I can remember, but now I've come to the realization that I'm sabotaging myself!

Let me explain. I'm the kind of girl who sees a boy and goes "wow he's really cute" and the next day it's someone different, an someone new the day after that. Granted I just mean he's good looking and not that I would actually want to date him but I play it up because it makes my friends laugh. I never thought it was a big deal.

Well I feel that it's a big deal now. I'm beginning to feel like I found a guy that I would actually be very serious about dating but unfortunately he's one of my closest friends and has heard me talking about 'all these other boys' so how would he believe that I'm even serious about him? Honestly, he probably shouldn't unfortunately.

So even though I found what could be the best thing that could have happened to me, I have to stay quiet and stay just friends.

You can be darn sure that my 'oh isn't he cute' charade is going to stop too. If I want a future boyfriend to take me seriously about how I feel about him, he needs to know that I'm serious when I tell him how amazing he is.

Maybe in the future this will all work out for the best.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Anxiety Attacks

Going to see a therapist has been one of the best decisions of my life. She keeps telling me that we're going to dive further into the deep dark places of my life and all I can say is Bring It!!

I have always been a person who suppresses my emotions and that was how I coped with much of my school years and all the bullying. I thought I was doing a really good job too.

Until this week, speaking to my therapist how emotional release is how the body rebalances itself. Without that release your body will find release in other more serious ways such as depression, anxiety, and fibromyalgia.

That was the point I stopped her and made her explain herself.

Are you telling me that all these years or suppressing my emotions is likely the cause of my anxiety attacks?

The good news is, now that I know where it likely comes from, I can work towards undoing the damage and becoming anxiety free!

Now I just need to learn some new coping mechanisms and how to get a more natural emotional release!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

10th Doctor Nail Art

Alright, well in case you didn't know, I like to be a little geeky. So when I seen these lovely beauts I just couldn't help but share it, and well y'know I'm gonna have to try it.

Source: http://www.etsy.com/listing/102871916/doctor-who-press-on-nails-tenth-doctor

I'm especially liking the idea of the Darlek nails using gem stones. I think I might add a blue gem for the eye instead of just a black dot though.

Can't wait to give these babies a try! It'd be totally worth having to wear gloves at work just so I could wear this kinda nail polish!

I will keep you posted if I ever try them!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Chrysler Car Show

So my family just came back from a trip to the states for a huge car show featuring just Chrysler cars.

While I didn't go with them this year because I wanted to be a part of the Lord of the Rings in concert that I previously mentioned in this blog.

I have however been remembering the fun I had when I went with them two years ago. It was the perfect year for me to go because there was a special focus on pink cars.

I did miss going down and I hope that I will have a chance to go again sometime in the future!

Monday, July 9, 2012

All in my Imagination

So as I went to sign up for my University classes, I was told that I couldn't sign up for some of my courses because I didn't have a 3rd year standing.

Excuse me?

I do believe that this is my third year of University unless I've imagined a whole year in there somewhere?

I think school got things really messed up this time! It's going to be fun sorting this one out!

Friday, July 6, 2012

Lord of the Rings in Concert

So I had the chance yesterday to travel to a nearby city to go see Lord of the Rings in Concert.

What you need to understand is that, this soundtrack is the very reason I wanted to become a musician. The composer Howard Shore is my musical hero and he is professionally the man I look up to.

I had bought my tickets back in April, and I have been quite excited to go, so much so that I have up traveling to another country with my family.

It's a good thing I did.

A few days before the concert, I received an e-mail saying that Howard Shore wanted to do a live video chat with some people before the concert.

So naturally I went!

I learned quite a bit from him and even got the chance to be one of the 4 people to get up and ask him a question. I loved the answer too!

We talked about how he chose the instrumentation and style of music for each race. He used Tolkien's idea of the compass and used western Europe as his map and chose everything based on location. The use of Celtic instruments and voices were used because they are the oldest record of early music and he wanted to portray that ancient sound. So cool!

So I got the chance to chat with my hero! Amazing!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Crazy Hair

I used to have the most voluptuous hair growing up that I considered it an afro. I spent years wearing my hair up in a pony tail, buns, braids, basically anything I could to try and tame my unruly mane.

As I've grown from a child to an adult, I've begun embracing the wild side of my hair and I've learned to go with the flow! The trick is to be confident and love my hair, no matter what it does!

I'm liking this new me!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Braces

So are you ready for some big news? My braces are off!

I was so excited that words can't even describe. I took my first photo of myself without braces and I fell in love with how it turned out.

Mom keeps telling me it looks like I'm in a NOS ad but I was actually taking the picture for my friend because we used to have a sushi and NOS date once a week.

Anyways, I'm so happy with it that I just had to share!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Counseling

So for the past couple weeks I have been going to see a Christian counsellor to try and help me in the different areas of my life that I'm struggling.

My biggest things are the fact that I don't show emotion. Ever! Have you ever watched Star Trek? You know the Vulcans? Yes, that is pretty much me. My emotions are suppressed as far as I can push them and they're destroying relationships.

I also don't find arguments of any kind to be healthy which I found out is actually an unhealthy thought pattern. So I'm going to learn how to have healthy arguments with friends and family.

It's gonna be a scary ride. Let's do it!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Technology Is Taking Over

Tonight I had the joy of going outside and sitting on the front steps of my house. As I looked up and down the street of my quiet little neighborhood I could see flickering lights in the windows of most of my neighbors.

They were all watching television.

Is this what we have all become, we constantly complain that there's too much work to be done and no time to do it in, or that we are always so exhausted. We are wasting our time away with the garbage that's I the tv.

Don't get me wrong, I watch tv too. But maybe it's time to take a step away from it all and learn to enjoy the simpler and bigger things in life.

For the next week, challenge yourself to do something simple and pleasuring like taking a walk at dusk, or do something grand and crazy, larger than what you'd expect yourself to do like try rock climbing or zip lining. Just do something different, try to live a little more!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Banana Bread

My mom is diabetic so we don't really use sugar in this house, we use more artificial stuff. While its not much healthier, it's better than why the sugar will do to a diabetic.

Mom made some very yummy and somewhat healthy banana bread. It's sooo good. I'm currently just eating the last piece now.

It was made with sweetener instead of sugar and light becel margarine instead of butter. Plus we had some very ripe bananas so she put more bananas in than the recipe called for. It made it very yummy!

The Irish Rovers - "The Drunk Scotsman" (Lyrics)

I was driving to my friends house for a nice night of board games, and I had my iPod on shuffle. Now you must understand that I get a bunch of music from just about everyone I know, and it all goes onto my external hard drive. Well recently I just put everything from the external hard drive onto my iPod and I don't even know half of what I have.

So as I was driving, I stumbled across this little jem of a tune and it had me in stitches laughing as I drove along the highway. I figured I would share, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.


Dropkick Murphys - "Black Velvet Band" (Live - 2006)

Mom and I were rocking out to this song in the car yesterday and having one wild party as we drove in the beautiful summer weather. We had so much fun blasting it from my car speakers and singing at the top of our lungs! That's how to spend mother / daughter time together!

Females Fix Cars

It seems hilarious to me the number of my male friends who are shocked that i'm not afraid to get under the hood of my car and attempt to fix things.

For the past couple of months, I've been having problems with my car overheating in a very stupid and silly manner, but it has been too cold for me to go and attempt to fix it.

Finally it became warm enough so I decided to tackle changing the thermostat!

I went over to my friends house who also had to work on his car, and we had a car fixing day. When it came time to work on my car, I was the only one who knew how to change the part! ( I have to mention that one friend is a major car enthusiast and the other is an engineer)

They watched as I changed the part and even said that I taught them something.

Huge thanks go out to my mom and grandpa who made sure I wasn't a helpless damsel who couldn't fend for herself! I felt so handy changing the part myself, and in the end it only cost me $15. I also haven't had an overheating problem since! Hurray!

Introducing Lilly

This family are really big animal lovers, and when it comes to me, it's not just house pets but wild animals too! My mom and I are really big cat people and when our 4 year old cat had to be put to sleep in November we were devastated. As part of our healing process, we took home two lovely girls, Spring and Lilly.

Spring is my moms cat, and Lilly is mine. They're both adorable! They're a half Siamese and half Tabby crossbreed. They're litter mates that were born on October 1st 2011.

So below, I introduce my very cute and fluffy baby, Lilly!

Monday, May 28, 2012

A Grand Hello

I'm pretty much well aware that no one is likely to ever come onto my site and read my blog, and to be honest I don't care.

This is me re-doing a blog site because I realized that my last one ha too much personal information about me and for all I know someone could be out there stalking me right now because of it (unlikely).

I decided that I didn't want a blog about just one specific thing because my life has too much in it! Life is diverse!

I may not be a great writer, or even an overly interesting person, but I am a person with an opinion. I'm a person who lives life. In the end, I'm all I need to be, and I like the idea or having a place to write it all down an express myself in any way that I see fit.

So here I am, as myself! Unedited, unfiltered! This is me!