Sabotaging Myself

Have you ever had a personality trait that your friends think is 'so you' so you just keep doing it for the reaction you get from your friends? Well I know that I've done that for as long as I can remember, but now I've come to the realization that I'm sabotaging myself!

Let me explain. I'm the kind of girl who sees a boy and goes "wow he's really cute" and the next day it's someone different, an someone new the day after that. Granted I just mean he's good looking and not that I would actually want to date him but I play it up because it makes my friends laugh. I never thought it was a big deal.

Well I feel that it's a big deal now. I'm beginning to feel like I found a guy that I would actually be very serious about dating but unfortunately he's one of my closest friends and has heard me talking about 'all these other boys' so how would he believe that I'm even serious about him? Honestly, he probably shouldn't unfortunately.

So even though I found what could be the best thing that could have happened to me, I have to stay quiet and stay just friends.

You can be darn sure that my 'oh isn't he cute' charade is going to stop too. If I want a future boyfriend to take me seriously about how I feel about him, he needs to know that I'm serious when I tell him how amazing he is.

Maybe in the future this will all work out for the best.

Anxiety Attacks

Going to see a therapist has been one of the best decisions of my life. She keeps telling me that we're going to dive further into the deep dark places of my life and all I can say is Bring It!!

I have always been a person who suppresses my emotions and that was how I coped with much of my school years and all the bullying. I thought I was doing a really good job too.

Until this week, speaking to my therapist how emotional release is how the body rebalances itself. Without that release your body will find release in other more serious ways such as depression, anxiety, and fibromyalgia.

That was the point I stopped her and made her explain herself.

Are you telling me that all these years or suppressing my emotions is likely the cause of my anxiety attacks?

The good news is, now that I know where it likely comes from, I can work towards undoing the damage and becoming anxiety free!

Now I just need to learn some new coping mechanisms and how to get a more natural emotional release!

10th Doctor Nail Art

Alright, well in case you didn't know, I like to be a little geeky. So when I seen these lovely beauts I just couldn't help but share it, and well y'know I'm gonna have to try it.

Source: http://www.etsy.com/listing/102871916/doctor-who-press-on-nails-tenth-doctor

I'm especially liking the idea of the Darlek nails using gem stones. I think I might add a blue gem for the eye instead of just a black dot though.

Can't wait to give these babies a try! It'd be totally worth having to wear gloves at work just so I could wear this kinda nail polish!

I will keep you posted if I ever try them!

Chrysler Car Show

So my family just came back from a trip to the states for a huge car show featuring just Chrysler cars.

While I didn't go with them this year because I wanted to be a part of the Lord of the Rings in concert that I previously mentioned in this blog.

I have however been remembering the fun I had when I went with them two years ago. It was the perfect year for me to go because there was a special focus on pink cars.

I did miss going down and I hope that I will have a chance to go again sometime in the future!

All in my Imagination

So as I went to sign up for my University classes, I was told that I couldn't sign up for some of my courses because I didn't have a 3rd year standing.

Excuse me?

I do believe that this is my third year of University unless I've imagined a whole year in there somewhere?

I think school got things really messed up this time! It's going to be fun sorting this one out!

Lord of the Rings in Concert

So I had the chance yesterday to travel to a nearby city to go see Lord of the Rings in Concert.

What you need to understand is that, this soundtrack is the very reason I wanted to become a musician. The composer Howard Shore is my musical hero and he is professionally the man I look up to.

I had bought my tickets back in April, and I have been quite excited to go, so much so that I have up traveling to another country with my family.

It's a good thing I did.

A few days before the concert, I received an e-mail saying that Howard Shore wanted to do a live video chat with some people before the concert.

So naturally I went!

I learned quite a bit from him and even got the chance to be one of the 4 people to get up and ask him a question. I loved the answer too!

We talked about how he chose the instrumentation and style of music for each race. He used Tolkien's idea of the compass and used western Europe as his map and chose everything based on location. The use of Celtic instruments and voices were used because they are the oldest record of early music and he wanted to portray that ancient sound. So cool!

So I got the chance to chat with my hero! Amazing!