Welcome to my blog! I'm surprised anyone has stuck around and read this far but to be honest I don't blog for all you people out there on the internet. I blog for me.
There is something very therapeutic about getting your thoughts and words down onto paper (or in my case the computer) and the even more amazing part is to watch your progress over the years.
Granted, I've started and stopped so many different blog sites because I thought they were silly, or something like that, but even over the span of a few months, it's always nice to be able to go back to something you've written down and see how far you've progressed in your own life.
You never feel like you're getting anywhere and it always feels like nothing has changed simply because we experience the change in ourselves so gradually that we rarely see of feel it. Well blogging has a way of letting you get the important stuff down on record, and it truly is amazing to look back over a few months and see the kind of progress that you have made in yourself.
Well I'm trying to convince myself that this blog has no theme. Except me.
way I can't get away from a theme, it will never become irrelevant and
therefore I'm more likely to keep it around for a longer period of
So the theme of me? My Transformation.
Transformation is a program that I was introduced to years ago through body builder and fitness coach Bill Phillips. His mentality is that you can't just change your body, because then you're only changing half of the equation. You need to change your mentality, your thought processes, and your views on life. These are the things that make you successful.
Part of his program was to help people get the body that they want, either to lose weight, to gain muscle, of just to become healthier overall. Some of the sabotaging mentalities of people who try to do this include not having the time to workout; not wanting to give up unhealthy foods; and holding onto stress and anger. These might seem basic, but there is a surprisingly large number of people that hold onto these because they feel it defines who they are.
Well I'm re-defining who I am. Mentally, Physically, and Spiritually.
I began changing my mindset about 10 months ago when I started looking into going for counseling. To most people it might seem almost silly to go to therapy without having any real problems or issues that they feel need to be dealt with, but I did. I didn't like the way that I thought, and I wanted to discover why my brain thinks the way it does, and what I can do to change it to think the way I want. I wanted to re-take control of my thoughts so I can make them work in my favour.
It has been one of the greatest decisions of my life. Not only have I identified some things that make me push people away, or put up walls (which is always nice to know how to fix those) but I also learned that some of my thought processes and ways of dealing with problems were the actual cause of some of my physical ailments. It's quite wonderful to actually understand how the mind works and how to make myself better through my thoughts.
I know that everyone is always hearing about how people are always on a diet to try and lose weight, so a few people might roll their eyes at me and think "oh look, there's another one" but to be honest I'm not doing this to get smaller (although its nice that it's working in my favour!) I come from a family of diabetics, I mean every last person in my family except myself. So when I look at my family tree, I almost feel like there's no avoiding it, that some day it will happen to me. I always knew that I would need to take control of the way that I eat, and soon, but I never had the push to do it.
Well, now I suffer from chronic migraines. I would get them 3-5 times a week. The doctors are trying to do all that they can for me, but while we wait between tests, I have 3 different medications to take for the pain. Well two of these three said that as a side effect they can cause severe weight gain. Well, I figured I'm having none of that. So I figured, I might as well join my mother and the way she eats now because it will control the eating habits of a diabetic and it can help a person lose weight. I didn't think I would actually lose anything doing this, just because with this program you're supposed to lose the weight really slowly so there's no shock to your system, and I figured it would just counter my medication and I would stay somewhere around the same weight.
Well I was wrong. apparently it does work. My highest weight was in 2012 (this year) and I was 160lbs. I am going down steadily and sticking to it because my health is important to my survival, not just the weight-loss which I wasn't actually expecting, but getting my food consumption under control before diabetes finds me too.
There is one thing about myself that I will never hide and that is my faith. If someone thinks it's offensive for me to talk about Jesus then they don't have to listen to me, but I will never shy away from showing that I am His daughter. He is my Father, my Savior, my King. I am a Christian - Catholic.
My testimony starts back as far as 7 years ago when I got myself out of a very bad situation in high school. I can say that was when I realized that I needed God and I knew that I wanted him in my life, but I never truly hungered to have him. 3 years ago I got involved at my church in a more active way and I started to learn things I never knew about my faith, even though I was brought up with it. There were so many things that people just took for granted and so it was never taught to younger generations. That's when my curiosity peaked. Sadly it wasn't until this past year that I truly became on fire for God. I wanted Him to be a part of every single decision I made, every word that I said, and it pained me to be so far away from him and I scrambled to try and get closer to Him. I'm still scrambling!
It was only at the end of November of this year that I took the initiative to try and find someone who can give me a direction to go in. Someone who can help me find my way and point me in the right direction, the direction that God has laid out for me. I don't want to do what I want in life, I want to do everything that He has planned for me because only then can I find true happiness and peace! Only His plan is the perfect plan for me, not mine. I can't see the big picture. That's why I need him.
We are all human, we all make mistakes. Lord knows I've made quite a few, but that's part of growing and becoming better people. As long as we learn from our mistakes and ask Jesus to help us move forward on the right path, that's all we can be expected to do. I will never be perfect, not as long as I'm alive, but I will never stop trying to become more like Him and trying to be closer to Him. He is what I truly hunger for.
Well, if anyone is still reading all the way down to this point, I thank-you. You're either really bored, or you really care. Either way I hope you walked away with something.
So feel free to check out my blog if you haven't already, follow me if you're interested in receiving updates as I blog (which I hope to do more of) and feel free to comment on things and let me get to know you, and what you thought of what I had to say. If you've shared something similar, or have something you'd like me to check out, I'd love to hear about it!
God Bless everyone! <><