That's right our one month anniversary is upon us and I can already tell this will be the longest relationship I will have had. We have our priorities directed in the right way and I have faith that this is meant to be something special.
Tonight my boyfriend DS and I went to adoration together. My uncle was out of town for the weekend and asked if I could do his hour at the adoration chapel, which I had no problem doing. I decided to invite DS along.
It was nice to pray, and read on our own, but then it was nice to pick up the book of intentions and begin praying together out loud for the intentions people wrote down in the book. When we were finished we held hands and we prayed for our relationship together, that God help us to keep Him at the center of all we do and to draw us closer to Him with everything we do together as a couple.
I've always been told "A family that prays together, stays together" and while DS and I aren't family, if this is ever meant to be something permanent, well I can't think of a better way to ring in our first anniversary together than spending it praying together.
While we are both still at the super shy stages together, I hope that there will be many more opportunities in our future for us to just sit down together and pray for each other, for our relationships to God and each other, and to pray for others in our lives, but doing so together.
I like the foot that this relationship is starting out on.
I know it has been a while since I have updated my blog, I guess it goes without saying (especially to anyone that knows me) that I am keeping myself beyond busy this summer. Balancing many jobs, friends, family, and even a new relationship!
God has truly blessed me this past year with all that he has sent my way. The most incredible job opportunities that have the possibility of setting my future in the music industry onto the right path. He gave me the strength to discover who I am, who I want to be, and to identify where I am on that journey and what steps I need to take to get where I am called to go.
But the most incredible blessing I have is the wonderful man that God has allowed to enter my life.
All of the years of finding faults in guys, and honing my skills in identifying what I want and need in a partner and future spouse seem to pay off. When this lovely lad came into my life there wasn't a moment in my mind that I didn't think he was something special. Little did I know that to him, I was apparently just as special!
If anyone knows anything about me, they know that I don't have a history of having super long lasting relationships. Usually about a month give or take a few days. Well I am in that one month time window now, and as our first anniversary approaches, all I can think of is to keep thanking God for the wonderful blessing he has given me.
I'm telling you guys, God knows what he's doing, that's for sure!
The past few days have been something truly spectacular to me, I've learned another way that I want to grow in my life. I know I'm always talking on here about growing, and learning where I'm supposed to be, and each time they've been right on the button! This time I'm growing in my femininity, the way that God desires.
For the past month or so, I've been taking part in Christopher West's DVD series on Theology of the Body, called Freedom To Love. It's been quite eye opening and has made me look at things I had never thought about in my life. In fact, many of the things that I believed growing up were targeted in this series as being the wrong way to look at things. I've slowly begun to change the way that I view my faith, it's been absolutely spectacular! Here's a very small clip from one of the lectures that I would like to share with you:
This past week, we looked at part 4 of 5 in this series, and something hit me. The talk was about morality, and something that he said broke me, he said that almost every woman, by nature, has an overwhelming fear of being abandoned in life. Wow! I felt the wind knocked out of me! That was me! That's been me in every single aspect in my life for as long as I can remember. I broke down and I cried. I was shaking and I was crying and something began working within me.
After the 50 minute video lecture was finished, our young adults group discussed what the talk had been about together, like we always did. This particular week it was myself, a gentleman that I have known for years from church, and our young seminarian. Our discussions went on to point out different things that stood out to us, and allowed us to expand on the topics that spoke to each of us.
Our seminarian pointed out to me a few books that are along the lines of what I wanted. What spoke to me was about the importance of true gender roles in life, how men can be men, and women can be women. Under this topic two books were recommended to me, both written by a husband and wife team, John and Stasi Eldredge. One of them is about the true nature of a man's heart and desires called "Wild at Heart" and the other is about a woman's heart, desires and nature called "Captivating". Another important topic to me was how we need both parental roles in our lives to fully develop the way we were meant to, and so we also discussed books that are for our healing from hurts in life, and how to learn to be a well rounded person with only having one parent. Needless to say my reading list for the summer now consists of 13 new books.
Last night I bought "Wild at Heart" and "Captivating". It's apparently good to read both to not only understand how your own mind works, but also to try and help you understand how the other gender things as well. I've started to read "Captivating" already, and I'm having to force myself to read it slow so that I can reflect on it as I'm going and to try and get as much out of it as I can. I'm only in Chapter 1 right now, but there was something written in the introduction that I want to share with you:
"The mystery of a feminine heart was meant to be a good thing. By the way. A source of joy. Yet it has become a source of shame - women almost universally feel that they are 'too much' and 'not enough.' At the same time. (Which is crazy making.) And men tend to pull away from the deeper waters of a woman's soul, unsure of what they will find there or how to handle it. And so we have missed the treasure that is the heart of a woman, missed the richness femininity was meant to bring to our lives, missed the way it speaks to us of the heart of God." - Stasi
I don't know why, all my life I have desired to be delicate, to be a lady, I wanted to rebel against feminism. Yet society is telling me to be otherwise, they're telling me to be macho and tough like a man. This isn't what I want for myself! God created men to be the stern ones, and women to be the kind and compassionate ones and this is what I want for my life. Not a helpless women who can't do anything for herself, but soft in spirit. I want Mary, the mother of Jesus, to be my example! I want to be like her.
This book is going to be quite the journey for me and I know that I won't come out the other side as the same person I am now. The way I'm thinking is going to change pretty drastically, and I welcome that with open arms!
The season of Lent is upon us once again, and it is that time of year where we put away foolish things and strive to become closer to Jesus.
All my life I've tried to do something drastic and very difficult for lent, from giving up meat (the one food group I actually like), to giving up television (which is ALWAYS on in the background, to the hardest one last year, I gave up Facebook. I realized the amount of time I wasted on Facebook just took away from my productivity, and made me generally miserable. It was an addiction that I needed to break.
While most years I try to do something different, I really think that leaving Facebook for 40 days is the most challenging thing I've ever done for lent, and I've decided that I'm going to take another running stab at it.
After Easter of last year, it was amazing how free I felt from my addiction to browsing on Facebook. I've come to the realization that it is just as bad now as it was this time last year, and that somehow I had become dependent on it once again.
It was a real learning experience for me and so I believe that it is time for me to do this challenge for a second year in a row.
As well, I want to make a promise myself to use my free time to try and at least twice a week, spend some time in discernment of what God has planned for my life. Perhaps spend more time in Adoration.
This is an opportunity to get closer to God and to take a step away from all the things I've been wasting my time with.
