The Little Things in Life

People look at me strange when I tell them that my expactations in life are ever changing. I love to plan 5 steps ahead and I try to plan for every possible outcome. Might seem crazy, but I like to know what every decision I make, could mean for me in the long run.

Well, my plans changed.

I grew up wanting to go on all sorts of adventures, travel to all sorts of new places, meet all sorts of people and just live the dream. Needless to say I'm 23 and that hasn't happened yet, and I no longer think that it will. I'm not giving up on the dreams I had (at least I don't feel like I am) but rather I'm forging new dreams everyday.

Remember that guy I mentioned over a year ago in one of my last posts? Well he turned out to be the one for me and we are getting married in the summer. As big and grand as childhood me's adventures seemed, they're nothing compared to planning my life with this man.

I used to think that marrying a guy meant dinner dates, going out to all sorts of events together and tearing up the town showing him off. But that's not how it works.

Let me tell you about our time together this last week alone. Most of our hang out time has consisted of snuggling on a couch beside a fireplace either taking a nap (today) or watching Spongebob on Netflix with his youngest sibling (all week).

It sounds silly but as I looked around today at the situation I realized just how domestic we really are. And I love it!

I never would have imagined that taking a nap on a couch with someone or watching cartoons, would ever give me such a boost of joy. It feels like a more satisfying adventure than anything else I've ever dreamed of. It's such a small thing but it fills my heart with unbelievable warmth.

I love my litrle adventure, and I look forward to the many more to come.

We Owned The Night

"Tell me have you ever wanted someone so much it hurts. Yeah your lips keep trying to speak but you just can't find the words. I had this dream once, I held it in my arms." - Lady Antebellum, We Owned The Night.

When I first heard this song I thought it was cute, just like every Lady Antebellum song I've ever heard before. I always thought they were cute lyrics that would attract listeners to their abstract ideologies of love.

Now I realize just how true those lyrics really are.

It took me a little longer than as per usual for me to open up to my mom about the way I felt this time around because honestly I felt like an idiot! Wanting someone so much that it hurt. That just seems silly, doesn't it. I had never felt that way about anyone and so when it started happening to me, I was scared to admit it because I thought my friends would laugh.

Well my friends did laugh, but no one in my family did. It seems like every single adult that I've spoken to has been through that in their life. So guess what young people, you laugh now, but it's coming for you!

My family keeps telling me that I've finally found love, which is crazy because I barely know the guy. However it is true that I've never felt this way before. Plus, I hurt. I really, truly, physically hurt because I care about him so much.

I'm not calling it love, because honestly how can you love a person you've just met. That's like believing in love at first sight and that seems silly to me. But I have noticed that there is something remarkably different in the way that I feel for this man.

Needless to say, song lyrics are starting to stand out to me a little more these days.

Who knows what God has in store for me in the future in this. I guess we will have to wait and see.

Exceeding Expectations

This past year has been a challenge to myself that I didn't falter from. I exceeded so many expectations that others put towards me and that I put towards myself. This past year I stopped accepting what people told me and I started proving people wrong! I hope that 2013 will be another challenge-accepted year for me and that I come out stronger by the end!

People always told me that I was too scared to stand up for myself, that I would put up with people that mistreated me all through high school because I was too afraid to lose friends. Well that changed. I said goodbye to some people I once held dear in my heart simply because I realized that they were never truly friends anyways. I discovered that I would rather be alone than be with people who didn't care.

I did what every child dreams of, and got in with the "popular" crowed at University and just as quickly, I realized how fake they were and could proudly say that I walked away from them all too.

I started acting like an adult, letting my mom know when I would be out instead of asking her if it was ok.

I found the areas in my life that I wasn't happy with and I took steps towards getting help to making changes in my life.

I had a 20 seconds of courage moment in the summer and walked up and talked to complete strangers because I thought they were cute, and I survived total embarrassment in front of them too.

I didn't let that embarrassment bring me down and I surprised myself by doing it again, more than once.

People that my old friends told me I'd never have a chance with, told me they liked me and I've made friends out of.

Guys that my friends told me I would never have the courage to talk to, I've hung out with.

Courses that I was sure I was going to fail going into them, I've passed.

I've stopped letting people walk all over me, I've been working 3 jobs and full time school, and still find the time to volunteer at church.



I spoke to the man who inspired me to become a musician and composer, Howard Shore.


I've stopped relying on people to do things with me, if I want to do them, I've gone alone. Only I am responsible for my own happiness!

I've done so much more in my life this year than anyone ever thought that I would. I survived my first car accident, paid for my own recovery, and made decisions about my life without consulting anyone. It's sad to say that at 21 I finally feel like I grew up a little this year.

So here's to 2013 and all that it holds in store for me. I will exceed my own expectations once again, and I will blow people away with how much I will achieve!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

-Tay

True Love

I came across this image a while back on Pintrest and I feel like I have to share. I really want to get this message out because most people are falling into the traps shown in the images and aren't realizing the real truth!

Let Jesus be the one to fill you with his Love. When we empty ourselves of the love we have to give, God will pour his love back into us to keep us full, therefore we should never stop loving others and God will never stop loving us. It's such a beautiful, continuous circle! God gives us His love, to give to others. He has so much love for us that we couldn't possibly keep it all to ourselves, we have no choice but to burst at the seams with His love and let it cover everyone around us! Such a wonderful gift!