Exactly one year ago today I got into a car accident. I tried to avoid hitting a car that cut me off and therefore put my car into a 12 foot ditch only meters away from a river bank, missing trees by only a cars length, and doing all this while not having airbags in my car. I would wake up the next morning barely able to get out of bed and using every ounce of strength that I had to crawl up the stairs out of the basement at my friends house that I stayed at overnight and unable to move or breathe properly. I was diagnosed with sever whiplash in my neck and back.
I spent the next 4 months in both physiotherapy and massage therapy while also cutting back to the bare minimum of courses I could take which also included not playing my instrument because I didn't have the strength to hold 5 lbs of pressure on one hand.
I was told I wasn't allowed to run, or workout anymore, I had to quit my boot camp class at the gym and I was told to take it easy, not an easy task for me at the time. As the months went on I was finally aloud to stretch and do certain yoga positions to start getting mobility back in my upper body. I remember how excited I was as I was slowly allowed to add different exercises back into my daily routine.
I've taken it easy all year and I've been careful and attentive to every small pain my body has given to me and not pushed myself too hard ever since out of fear of aggravating the injury.
Today, on the anniversary of my accident I celebrated. I worked out harder than I've ever worked out. I gave all that I had, it hurt to breath, I was dripping with sweat, and I was loving every second of it. It sounds stupid but I felt like crying, I was so happy that I could be doing that again!
I might rest a day or two in between for a while but I'm seeing some intense training days in my future. I'm not likely to do them multiple days in a row for a while, just to make sure I don't get injured again so soon, but it's time to start doing what I love again!
Not a day has gone by so far in 2013 that made me disappointed! Everyday has felt amazing and it's continuing to feel like a fantastic year!
-Tay
Monday, January 21, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
The Military Wife
I came across this photo today on Facebook. With so many of my friends being in the army, I realize how important and strong an army wife needs to be.
I thought it was very sweet and adorable and I just wanted to share it.
-Tay
I thought it was very sweet and adorable and I just wanted to share it.
-Tay
My Resolution
Since we are now 10 days into 2013, I think it's time that I push through to my resolution for the New Year.
My resolution isn't to eat healthier, to go to the gym more often, to go do something, say something, or be a person that I don't actually want to be.
My true resolution is to find happiness. Not fake happiness, or temporary gratification but true happiness. This can only come from doing what needs to be done, growing as a person, and putting my trust in God. No one can give me the happiness I want but they are welcome to be a part of my daily laughter.
Even when you're sad, or depressed, or hurt, you can still be happy as a whole. I'm not saying that my whole year will be perfect, because I know that it won't be. There is going to be times that I will want to kick and scream because of how wrong things are going. But I can always trust that everything will turn out alright in the end.
Overall this will be my best year yet, no more relying on others opinions of me to dictate what I think of myself, no more waiting on my friends to join me on activities that I want to do. It's time to grab life by the horns and just live my life.
I hope you guys find happiness in the upcoming year!
God Bless
- Tay
My resolution isn't to eat healthier, to go to the gym more often, to go do something, say something, or be a person that I don't actually want to be.
My true resolution is to find happiness. Not fake happiness, or temporary gratification but true happiness. This can only come from doing what needs to be done, growing as a person, and putting my trust in God. No one can give me the happiness I want but they are welcome to be a part of my daily laughter.
Even when you're sad, or depressed, or hurt, you can still be happy as a whole. I'm not saying that my whole year will be perfect, because I know that it won't be. There is going to be times that I will want to kick and scream because of how wrong things are going. But I can always trust that everything will turn out alright in the end.
Overall this will be my best year yet, no more relying on others opinions of me to dictate what I think of myself, no more waiting on my friends to join me on activities that I want to do. It's time to grab life by the horns and just live my life.
I hope you guys find happiness in the upcoming year!
God Bless
- Tay
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Bible Reflection - Mark 2:1-12
So today's daily reading was about the story of the paralytic man. There was no room in the house to get close enough to Jesus, so they cut a hole in the roof and lowered him down.
Jesus then said "My son, your sins are forgiven."
It was then that he felt the doubt of some of the scribes that what he had done was blasphemy.
It was because of this doubt that he said, "which is easier, to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say 'Rise, take up your pallet and walk?'"
He then proceeds to tell the man to get up an walk.
So here's what gets me.
Jesus never healed the man right away, he could have told him to walk from the very beginning but he only did it to clear all doubt in the scribes hearts.
What would have happened if the scribes had never doubted? Would the paralyzed man have remained that way?
I know the greater miracle here was that Jesus or gave the mans sins, healed his soul first and then the human body.
I just find it curious to think what would have happened had no one in that room doubted. Would anything have actually happened there on that day?
- Tay
Jesus then said "My son, your sins are forgiven."
It was then that he felt the doubt of some of the scribes that what he had done was blasphemy.
It was because of this doubt that he said, "which is easier, to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say 'Rise, take up your pallet and walk?'"
He then proceeds to tell the man to get up an walk.
So here's what gets me.
Jesus never healed the man right away, he could have told him to walk from the very beginning but he only did it to clear all doubt in the scribes hearts.
What would have happened if the scribes had never doubted? Would the paralyzed man have remained that way?
I know the greater miracle here was that Jesus or gave the mans sins, healed his soul first and then the human body.
I just find it curious to think what would have happened had no one in that room doubted. Would anything have actually happened there on that day?
- Tay
Monday, December 31, 2012
Exceeding Expectations
This past year has been a challenge to myself that I didn't falter from. I exceeded so many expectations that others put towards me and that I put towards myself. This past year I stopped accepting what people told me and I started proving people wrong! I hope that 2013 will be another challenge-accepted year for me and that I come out stronger by the end!
People always told me that I was too scared to stand up for myself, that I would put up with people that mistreated me all through high school because I was too afraid to lose friends. Well that changed. I said goodbye to some people I once held dear in my heart simply because I realized that they were never truly friends anyways. I discovered that I would rather be alone than be with people who didn't care.
I did what every child dreams of, and got in with the "popular" crowed at University and just as quickly, I realized how fake they were and could proudly say that I walked away from them all too.
I started acting like an adult, letting my mom know when I would be out instead of asking her if it was ok.
I found the areas in my life that I wasn't happy with and I took steps towards getting help to making changes in my life.
I had a 20 seconds of courage moment in the summer and walked up and talked to complete strangers because I thought they were cute, and I survived total embarrassment in front of them too.
I didn't let that embarrassment bring me down and I surprised myself by doing it again, more than once.
People that my old friends told me I'd never have a chance with, told me they liked me and I've made friends out of.
Guys that my friends told me I would never have the courage to talk to, I've hung out with.
Courses that I was sure I was going to fail going into them, I've passed.
I've stopped letting people walk all over me, I've been working 3 jobs and full time school, and still find the time to volunteer at church.
I spoke to the man who inspired me to become a musician and composer, Howard Shore.
I've stopped relying on people to do things with me, if I want to do them, I've gone alone. Only I am responsible for my own happiness!
I've done so much more in my life this year than anyone ever thought that I would. I survived my first car accident, paid for my own recovery, and made decisions about my life without consulting anyone. It's sad to say that at 21 I finally feel like I grew up a little this year.
So here's to 2013 and all that it holds in store for me. I will exceed my own expectations once again, and I will blow people away with how much I will achieve!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!
-Tay
People always told me that I was too scared to stand up for myself, that I would put up with people that mistreated me all through high school because I was too afraid to lose friends. Well that changed. I said goodbye to some people I once held dear in my heart simply because I realized that they were never truly friends anyways. I discovered that I would rather be alone than be with people who didn't care.
I did what every child dreams of, and got in with the "popular" crowed at University and just as quickly, I realized how fake they were and could proudly say that I walked away from them all too.
I started acting like an adult, letting my mom know when I would be out instead of asking her if it was ok.
I found the areas in my life that I wasn't happy with and I took steps towards getting help to making changes in my life.
I had a 20 seconds of courage moment in the summer and walked up and talked to complete strangers because I thought they were cute, and I survived total embarrassment in front of them too.
I didn't let that embarrassment bring me down and I surprised myself by doing it again, more than once.
People that my old friends told me I'd never have a chance with, told me they liked me and I've made friends out of.
Guys that my friends told me I would never have the courage to talk to, I've hung out with.
Courses that I was sure I was going to fail going into them, I've passed.
I've stopped letting people walk all over me, I've been working 3 jobs and full time school, and still find the time to volunteer at church.
I spoke to the man who inspired me to become a musician and composer, Howard Shore.
I've stopped relying on people to do things with me, if I want to do them, I've gone alone. Only I am responsible for my own happiness!
I've done so much more in my life this year than anyone ever thought that I would. I survived my first car accident, paid for my own recovery, and made decisions about my life without consulting anyone. It's sad to say that at 21 I finally feel like I grew up a little this year.
So here's to 2013 and all that it holds in store for me. I will exceed my own expectations once again, and I will blow people away with how much I will achieve!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!
-Tay
Sleepless Nights
I don't know what it is lately but I've been having such a hard time getting to sleep at night!
I seriously stay up all hours of the night with a million things running through my mind, books I want to read, melodies that need transcribing, scenes or stories that need to be written down, e-mails that need to be sent... The list goes on!
It's not that I'm losing any sleep though, I seem to manage 9 hours a night by simply getting up at noon!
Starting tomorrow I get to re-train myself for school! Yikes. Basically no matter what time I go to bed I need to get up by a certain time so that I will eventually get tired enough that I can start going to bed earlier again.
1 week left of holidays and then the best semester of my life begins! All composition all the time! This will be the make or break to find out of this really is what I want to do for the rest of my life! I'm so excited! It's going to be hard but it's going to be worth it!
I seriously stay up all hours of the night with a million things running through my mind, books I want to read, melodies that need transcribing, scenes or stories that need to be written down, e-mails that need to be sent... The list goes on!
It's not that I'm losing any sleep though, I seem to manage 9 hours a night by simply getting up at noon!
Starting tomorrow I get to re-train myself for school! Yikes. Basically no matter what time I go to bed I need to get up by a certain time so that I will eventually get tired enough that I can start going to bed earlier again.
1 week left of holidays and then the best semester of my life begins! All composition all the time! This will be the make or break to find out of this really is what I want to do for the rest of my life! I'm so excited! It's going to be hard but it's going to be worth it!
Thursday, December 27, 2012
3 Year Block
Here is a story: while I was studying for exams, my grandma called me up on the phone saying she wanted to read me a story. Not that unusual really, that's quite common with her. I really didn't care to hear it as I was seriously trying to study but I figured I would humor her and so I told her to go on. As she began reading, tears filled up in my eyes, she was reading a story I had written years ago! I didn't stop her, and I let her go to the end. It was amazing how the rawness of the story still got to me even now, especially because I wrote it myself!
My grandma told me I should publish a lot of the stories that I had written into a collection of short stories. I laughed at the idea because of course grandparents will be biased and encourage their grand kids that way.
Well I've spent the day today pouring over all the silly things I ha written over the years and I feel like there is some good stuff in there. The few pieces I put up on publishing sites came back with glowing reviews and years ago I even was published in an online magazine.
My problem is that I haven't written for the sake of me in almost 3 years. Sure, in high school I had all the time in the world and there was nothing that made me happier than to write, but once University hit, writing became more of a chore. It was homework. I got sick of writing papers and essays that I forgot what it was like to write a story that you were passionate about!
Well my 3 year writers block is finally over! Today I finally picked up a pencil and put it to paper and started to write again. It was only a page long and it just described one scene of something that I may never finish. But the good part is that I'm writing again. I can't ever stop writing.
I must write, in words, in music, in life. I must create and portray messages across any way that I can. Anything that is within me begging to be set free needs to leap out of me and into a page, to be shared with readers and listeners alike.
I can't stop. Ever.
My grandma told me I should publish a lot of the stories that I had written into a collection of short stories. I laughed at the idea because of course grandparents will be biased and encourage their grand kids that way.
Well I've spent the day today pouring over all the silly things I ha written over the years and I feel like there is some good stuff in there. The few pieces I put up on publishing sites came back with glowing reviews and years ago I even was published in an online magazine.
My problem is that I haven't written for the sake of me in almost 3 years. Sure, in high school I had all the time in the world and there was nothing that made me happier than to write, but once University hit, writing became more of a chore. It was homework. I got sick of writing papers and essays that I forgot what it was like to write a story that you were passionate about!
Well my 3 year writers block is finally over! Today I finally picked up a pencil and put it to paper and started to write again. It was only a page long and it just described one scene of something that I may never finish. But the good part is that I'm writing again. I can't ever stop writing.
I must write, in words, in music, in life. I must create and portray messages across any way that I can. Anything that is within me begging to be set free needs to leap out of me and into a page, to be shared with readers and listeners alike.
I can't stop. Ever.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)